Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
