I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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