on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
