Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
