a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize