I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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