ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
