Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
