we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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