You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
