TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize