she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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