you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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