YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
