Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
