Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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