my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
