Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
