There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
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drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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