Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
