We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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