This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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