If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
