Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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