if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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