margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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