Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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