What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
