She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
This is classic penis vs brain.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
