you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
