your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
