I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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