so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
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