...so i touched it.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Randomize
