called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
