then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I cannot find my penis.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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