I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
