I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
