I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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