if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
wow bdsm is so cute
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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