so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
