y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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