Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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