Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
