Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
