it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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