Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date

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(757): View more from Virginia

No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire

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(707): View more from California

You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.

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(972): View more from Texas

I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?

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(509): View more from Washington

The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.

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(510): View more from California

The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.

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