i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
