So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
