we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
its liver damage thursday
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
