someone get that fucking seahorse.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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