seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
