i barfeds in our rink
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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