yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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