good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize