You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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