my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
