Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
