I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Bring me that man meat
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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