): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize