Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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