You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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